I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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