Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
whose parrot is this?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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