I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
