Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
