yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
