I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
