Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
