my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
