where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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