Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
