Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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