So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I take back everything I said about communal showers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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