I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
