hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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