I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
