So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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