Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
