My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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