life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
