His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
