let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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