I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
