Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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