I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
