hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
