he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
