tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
