I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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