it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
