youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
ttyl tear gas
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
