so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
