I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
zippers are such a cool invention
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
