I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize