So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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