I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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