Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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