So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
