I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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