what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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