batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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