dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
