Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
