if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
