i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
