I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
