My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
