Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
