I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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