I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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