Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
