he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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