She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
